League of Dorks

To say I'm a basketball junkie is an understated fact. I love hoops like I love vodka and the occasional fat chick. It all goes hand in hand. But football is my skinny mistress....I love her!! Over the years football and fantasy football have become a big part of my Sundays. It’s like having a baby after which I realized two things. 1, I literally knew nothing about babies and 2, now I’m a freaking expert. When your life starts to revolve around fantasy football you begin to study the game more....and the reward, you take money from your friends. I have been in a fantasy football league going on 13 years. My resume, 5 trips to the Super Bowl and 3 Rings the latest being last year. I was also in another league last year and just so happen to win that as well. I enjoy playing in 2 leagues and mixing up my teams but this year I got suckered into a 3rd, 3 is too many even for me. You end up competing against yourself each week with your players from each team. Because my love for football and fantasy football runs deep I have decided to write about my experiences and my season. I hope to provide some insight or at the very least help you pass some time when you’re on the crapper.

In my main league we had our draft about 3 weeks ago and really it’s all down hill after that. It’s by far and away the best part of fantasy football. We’ve actually been doing it so long that our wife’s and girlfriends let us go out and pretend we are 25 all over again (sounds like I have both but really I don’t have either. Oh that’s right I’m in 3 fantasy football leagues….I’m a dork, chicks only like dorks on TV.) Like all old guys we pay for it ten fold the next day. This year are drafted started at 11am, I was a sleep by 6:30pm.

The league scoring is pretty standard although no negative points and quarterbacks get 6pts for a TD pass. During the draft we do not use a draft board. We have poster board and everyone goes up and writes their picks down. If you spell a players name wrong, write down a player that has already been taken, or pick out of turn…. its tequila shot time. This year we set an all time record….1st round shot for picking out of turn. We also have a league wide boat race after the 6th and 12th rounds. It’s a freaking mess after the 12th round and many shots are being served for the miss spelling of names and taken players who have already been selected. It’s freaking awesome!!


This year I had the 10th pick. We draft on the reverse order of the previous years standings. We continue to reward the loser but funny enough it’s usually the same guys picking 1st and 2nd year in and year out. We also have a good rule that you can hold over one player from previous team. If you do hold a player over it is considered your 1st pick. It’s somewhat strategic but not to mind numbing. Like in my case I held over Drew Brees with the 10th pick. A pretty easy decision considering he lead all players last year in points.

My goal this year was to go after top notch receivers because all the good backs would be held over or taken with the early picks. Looking inside the numbers the fall off on receivers to running backs is a lot greater. There are a ton of average backs but not many great receivers so my thought was to hold Brees and go receiver with my next two picks.

Here’s how the first four rounds shook out for me. After that I was a little drunk and just started filling in my roster.

1- Brees
2- Bouldin – Considering he only played in 12 games and had 1000 plus yards and 11 TDs I’m in. His average week scoring was tied for 1st with Fitzgerald.
3- Wes Welker – completely underrated fantasy player especially with Brady back
4- Bowe – Hoping he makes the leap in year 3.
The rest of the roster (in no particular order)
Thomas Jones
Ray Rice
Laveranues Coles
Stever Breaston – my Bouldin insurance policy.
Ahmad Bradshaw – just waiting for Jacobs to get hurt.
Johnathan Stewart – the achilles injury has me worried.
Jeff Reed
Patriots
Panthers
Marc Bulger
Another kicker that I can’t figure out. My friend who hosted the party “accidentally” pitched the poster boards in a drunken state. Good work meat!!